Transitions

"I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

The other night I sat across from my fiance, having a nice quiet dinner together before I headed back to Texas. But instead of enjoying myself, I was crying. Yes, nearly doing the ugly cry right there in the middle of the restaurant. And to make matters even worse, the waitress walked up and said, "Are you crying? Well I sure hope those are happy tears." But as my fiance sat helpless and unsure of what to do for me to ease my "pain", I was enjoying a pity party for myself as I was reflecting upon all of the changes that will be occurring over the next several months. Transition is always hard for me. It's that time of in between and it is so difficult. I find myself here however, quite often. It's hard because the Lord has always been faithful to bring into my life such incredible opportunities to be a part of and people to know and love that impact my life in such a way that it is difficult to leave behind. (I can tell that I am really making a good case for myself as to why a pity part was really necessary ;). But, I have been so blessed by this life that the Lord has given me. He has given me an amazing family, friends, coworkers, ministry opportunities and the list goes on.

This transition seems so much more difficult though. It is a much more permanent transition in a way moving from singleness to marriage and Texas to Tennessee etc. But, there are two things that I know. I know that I love the Lord, and He has always been faithful to carry me through anything that He leads me to. And I know that I love Charles. I can not explain that love and I honestly am not even sure if I even know really where it came from or when it came but I do know that I love him. But even though there are two things that I do know, there are many things I do not know. And I can choose to be fearful of the uncertain future and all that I do not know or I can just choose to trust. Trust, such a simple word for something that is not always easy to do. But I can trust in the One who has led me here. I can trust in the One who has led me for the past 20 years. I can trust in the One who loves me and wants what is best for me. I can trust in the One who not only knows my future but also the future of the entire universe. And I am so thankful that I am not cruising through life on my own. I am so thankful that I have the Lord to trust in. Though I do not fully see His plan, I do know I trust Him even when the journey is uncertain and the future unclear. I trust Him. I am sure there will be more tears and more ugly cries to come. . . but I do know where to turn.

Lord, my prayer is that I truly will place my trust in You; for everything and for every decision and every move that I make. Please continue to guide and direct me in the way that You would have me to go. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.